What Format is Right for My Resume

What Format is Right for My ResumeWhat Format is Right for My ResumeWhether youre creating a new resume from scratch, or polishing an existing one, its vital you use the right format if you want to get noticed and stand out to hiring managers. But whats the difference between different formats and which is the best resume format to use? Heres the information you needChronological vs. Functional ResumesThere are two common schrifts of resume formatsChronological Resume Format This is where you list your most recent work experience first and then work backwards. This is the most common resume and for good reason hiring managers prefer this approach. Functional Resume Format This format focuses more on skills and abilities, rather than listing a reverse chronological work history. It can be tempting to use this type of format to hide career gaps and/or job hopping. However, hiring managers are savvy and will quickly pick up on the tactic. In fact, we strongly recommend against using a functional resume format.So now that weve ruled out a functional resume format, what does a chronological resume entail?This is the best resume format to use because its simple and easy to follow for hiring managers. It includesYour name, email, phone and city/state at the top.A one (maximum, two) sentence branding statement highlighting your unique background.Your work history listed in reverse chronological order, with bulleted points under each job title explaining your role and relevant achievements.Your educational history, including the school where you went, the year you graduated and your degree.Any other pertinent information, such as volunteer experience, technical skills, or other abilities that are important for a potential employer to know about.Need more help with your resume?Check out our resume templates for some great examples. Or simply give us a call. We know the best resume formats to use in 2018, all so you can stand out to employers and get a call for an interv iew. To get started or learn more, contact us today at 832.930.7378.

The 21 best meme Halloween costume ideas that will #BreakTheInternet

The 21 best meme Halloween costume ideas that will BreakThewwwThe 21 best meme Halloween costume ideas that will BreakTheInternetThe internet is a breeding ground for memes, trends, and any/all goings-on. It seems like each day a new idea grows legs, and suddenly everyone is talking about it everywhere. Some just happen (like theblue orwhite dress), while others have been around for years (like cat breading). While each would be a huge win as aHalloweencostume, some are certainly better than others. Here, 21 of the absolute best internet memecostumesto help you slay this Halloween.1. The DressThis debate was one that divided families, ended friendships, and made you question your relationship. And now, the optical illusion is a totally wearable Halloween costume. (Photo viaBrit + Co)2. Snap Flower Crown FilterIts one of your most used filters, and who can blame you? The airbrushed-like skin and the crown of blooms can make *anyone* look like a true flower queen. (Photo viaBrit + Co)3 . Netflix + ChillThis is the ultimatecouples costumethat will have all your friends going YAAAAS. Netflix and chill probably wins for hilarious yet kinda sexy slang of the year, and this outfit is so easy to DIY too. (viaBrit + Co)4. Snap Puppy FilterHeres another Snap filter we have some serious puppy love for - in all senses, of course (viaBrit + Co)5. Nicki Minaj + BeyoncNicki and Bey have spawned about a dozen memes between them, from Miley Whats Good to Beyonce Always on Beat. Pay homage to the diva duo with this awesome Feeling Myself costume with your BFF. (viaBrit + Co)6. Taylor Swift + Bad BloodGirl SquadWhile were on the subject of celeb wannabes, round up your crew and be Taylor Swifts squad for Halloween. These Bad Blood outfits are seriously on point. (viaBrit + Co)7. Super Bowl Katy Perry + Left SharkWhat better way to show your love for Katy (or the internet) than with her viral Super Bowl performance? Please dont forget Left Shark, because we all know that Left Shar k is the real star. (viaBrit + Co)8. Gangnam StyleIf this now-iconic song didnt break the Internet - or your stereo - your costume definitely will. Buy some basics, grab a crew of three, and get ready to jive away. (viaBrit + Co)9.Hashtag Costume($20)Can we just take a moment and look at this amazing hashtag costume?10. Emoji Maternity CostumeTheres a high possibility youre going to have to teach your kid how to communicate in emoji someday. Get a head start with this clever maternity costume. Actually, you could really use any emoji face for this one. (viaBrit + Co)11. Emoji Couples CostumeSince were talking emojis here, you can make this costume using whats already in your closet. (viaBrit + Co)12. Im a Mouse, Duh CostumeThrow it back to your fave sleepover movie with this famousMean Girlsquote (thanks, Karen). The best part? It works *wonders* as a last-minute costume - just grab ears and the tee (viaStudio DIY)13. All Caps Abbi + Dog Hoody IlanaIf youre aBroad Cityfan, this o utfit inspired by season threes begebenheit Game Over will win you right over. Oh yeah, and your IRL BFF too. (viaBrit + Co)14. Bowie EmojisThe David Bowie emoji DEF makes it to the top of our favorites. A little face paint and some colorful dos will help you completely nail the look. (viaBrit + Co)15. Taylor Swift and Her SquadThe things we would do to join T.Swifts girl gang. Until then, well just be over here dressing the part with all of our frannns. (viaBrit + Co)16. Fros SlushieShout-out to summers favorite drink for making this costume possible. (viaClub Crafted)17.Started from the BottomBroad CityCostumeTaking cues for costumes from your favorite shows is never a bad idea. Especially with the amount of hilarity involved in this banginBroad Cityscene. (viaBrit + Co)18.Wrecking BallVideoThrow it back to Mileys wilder days. This maternity-friendly rendition of one of the stars most famous songs will win everyone at your costume party over - before you even throw the tune on. ( viaBrit + Co)19.Orange Is The New BlackCostumeSince its debut, behauptung Litchfield ladies have been everywhere. So if youre looking for a relevant costume for your group, this is guaranteed to be a hit (no intimidation needed). (viaBrit + Co)20. Fidget Spinner CostumeEven if youre still not sure about the purpose of the fidget spinner, were willing to bet the costume will draw some instant recognition.And laughs. (viaBrit + Co)21. Emoji Dancing Girls CostumeWe couldnt wrap it up without featuring one more v. famous emoji - the dancing lady. With a red dress (that you can totes grab from your closet), youll be able to recreate your favorite SMS star on a moments notice. (viaBrit + Co)This article was originally published on Brit + Co.

Simply Hired Reports Strong Job Growth in May 2016

Simply Hired Reports Strong Job Growth in May 2016Simply Hired Reports Strong Job Growth in May 2016Today Simply Hired releases its monthly U.S. Employment Outlook for May 2016. The report analyzes our comprehensive index of millions of online job listings in every occupation to provide detailed insight into national and local job trends.Simply Hired data shows strong job growth in May 2016, says Simply Hired President and CEO James Beriker. The data also reveals an interesting perspective on the race to be the next Silicon Valley as technology jobs migrate away from common hubs like San Francisco Bay area and New York and toward unlikely upstarts like Washington, D.C., and Minneapolis.Heres a look at how the month of May compared to the rest of 2016Job openings increase nationwide.According to the latest findings, nationwide job listings increased in May 2016 with 5.07% month-over-month growth. This is a significant increase over the previous two months we reported 2.66% month-over- month growth for March 2016 and 1.46% growth for April 2016.All states and major metros post gains.Job listings increased in all 50 states in May 2016. The largest gains were reported in Arkansas (124.44%), West Virginia (60.97%), New Mexico (49.26%), Wyoming ($48.81%), and Oregon (43.07%).Job listings also increased in many of the Top 25 largest U.S. metros in May 2016. The metros with the largest gains include Raleigh-Durham(8.72%), Minneapolis-St.Paul (8.41%), Seattle-Tacoma (8.36%), Charlotte (7.55%), and Baltimora (7.55%).Tech jobs swing outside Silicon Valley. For the May 2016 Employment Index, we also analyzed current technology job openings as a proportion of total job openings by region. The result is a list of the top 20 U.S. metropolitans with the highest percentage of tech jobs. We then compared the number of tech jobs in May to those in January 2016 to gauge growth activity to find that while Silicon Valley, i.e., the San Francisco Bay Area, continues to experience stro ng growth (1.24%), more significant surges are happening in other regions, such as Minneapolis (8.57%), Washington, D.C. (7.83%), and Seattle-Tacoma (5.14%).Mays Employment Outlook is great news for employers and job seekers alike and indicates an upward trajectory in jobs posted online for 2016.

Single women are downplaying their career goals around men, study finds

Single women are downplaying their career goals around men, study findsSingle women are downplaying their career goals around men, study findsA recentstudy from the National Bureau of Economic Research starts with an intriguing question Do single women avoid career-enhancing actions because these actions could signal personality traits, like ambition, that are undesirable in the marriage market?The research focused on students at what was referred to as an elite U.S. MBA program and told participants they were filling out a job preference and personality test. Questions included salary requirements and elements of job flexibility.Playing down ambition, asking for lessHeres the surprise the study found that single women tended to downplay their career goals and demands when they know those answers will be shared with men - even asking for less money.Interestingly, their female peers who have partners dont downplay their ambitions, according to the studys findings.The women in the stu dy were given two situations in one case, researchers told the women their answers would be shared with peers, and in another case the researchers told the women that their answers would remain private.When single female participants who were told their answers would be shared with their peers, they tended to ask for an average salary that was $18,000 less per year, requested to work four fewer hours per week and asked for seven fewer days of travel per month than women with partners.In contrast, when single women thought their answers wouldnt be shared with peers, they gave responses that were similar to women with partners.Moreover, the study found that men and women with partners did not brschchen their answers based on whether or not others were going to see it.In addition, a survey sent by researchers after the experiment showed that three-quarters of single female respondents reported that they didnt participate in career initiatives that would help them professionally out of fear of seeming too ambitious they also generally had lower participation grades than their counterparts with partners.Women may believe men look for less ambitious partners Why would women not in relationships want to appear less ambitious?Researchers hypothesized it had something to do with other academic work that suggests that men typically prefer women with fewer career aspirations, therefore leading women to alter behaviors to appear more romantically desirable. However, Sallie Krawcheck, founder of the Ellevate Network and the womens investment platform Ellevest, believes single women also act accordingly due to ideas about appealing to others more generally.These are the messages society sends us, that women are expected to act a certain way that does not include being too aggressive in the workplace and elsewhere, she says.If you dont have a seat at the table, youre on the menu, saysAditi Juneja, co-creator of the Resistance Manual, which has configured data specifically lo oking at the gender wage gap in all 50 U.S. states as well as nationally.

Interview Questions You Should Never Answer

Interview Questions You Should Never AnswerInterview Questions You Should Never AnswerKnow your rights so youre never caught off-guard during a job interview.There are certain questions that are off-limits during an interview. However, its notlage uncommon for an inexperienced interviewer to sneak in a question or two that are considered inappropriate or in some cases, against the law. As a job seeker, its important to not only prepare for the questions recruiters should ask you, but to also be ready to dodge questions that do not warrant an answer and avoid interview keywords that could hurt your chances of getting hired.How old are you?You dont have to answer any questions about your age other than stating that youre over the age of 18. You are also not required to submit a photo ID (which has your date of birth on it) during the interview process. If asked, you can simply tell the interviewer that youre concerned about identity theft and would prefer not to hand it over until its determined whether youll be joining their team. Be conscious of how you answer the question Are you at least 18 years of age? If you make a joke about your age, you are drawing negative attention to it.Whats your nationality?You do not need to answer any questions about your nationality, citizenship position, or how long youve lived in the United States. If an interviewer starts in with this line of questioning, simply explain that youre legally able to work in the United States. If some of your education or previous experience took place overseas, you have the option to state that youre legally able to work in the U.S. on your resume.Are you married? Do you have any children?While interviewers can ask you whether youve used another name professionally or during your education, they cant ask about your marital status, children, or if you plan to have a family in the future. Often the interviewer is innocently trying to break the ice by asking about your family. In these situations, redirect the question back to the interviewer. For instance, if they ask about your marital status you can reply by saying, It sounds like family is important to you. Are you married? This way, youve kept up the friendly banter without disclosing any information about your personal life.Do you have any spiritual beliefs?Questions about your religious beliefs are off-limits during an interview, including your religious affiliations and what religious holidays your observe. If an interviewer brings up this topic, try to figure out what theyre concerned with and then address those concerns. Perhaps theyre worried you wont be able to work certain days of the week or certain times of day that are required for the role.How long would your commute be to this office?The interviewer shouldnt ask you how far away you live from the office however, he is allowed to find out if youre able to start work at a certain hour or relocate for the position. If youre targeting positions that require relo cation, dont be afraid to state in your professional summary on your resume and online profiles that youre willing and able to relocate immediately. If you have family in the area or youve lived there in the past, theres nothing wrong with stating that you have an established, local support system. This demonstrates that youre not a costly flight risk, should they hire you.The next time an interviewer touches on one of these topics, try to find out what she is actually concerned about and steer the conversation to address those particular concerns. Keep the conversation light and friendly you dont need to come off as angry or defensive. Remember, often the interviewer is unaware of the federal laws and is simply being friendly.

The Most Ignored Answer for 2019 Resume Trends

The Most Ignored Answer for 2019 Resume Trends Bear in mind, your resume should concentrate on what you could give your employer, not vice versa. To compose an impressive resume isnt a simple job, but it isnt impossible as many job landseekers still believe If youre thinking about looking for a new job, you ought to be attentive to the hottest new resume trends. Review the critical abilities, experience, and educational requirements in the work ad and include those on your resume employing precisely the saatkorn language as is employed in the work ad. Your LinkedIn profile acts as a modern-day resume a prospective employer can easily scroll. Keywords from the work announcement has to be utilized throughout the resume to reveal the reader that youre capable of being the candidate they are trying to find. If youre smart enough to tailor your resume to the work description, it is simple to direct the eye of the recruiter to where you desire. And the initial one is you want to b ear in mind that any resume its part of you, your expertise and willingness to have the job. The Fundamentals of 2019 Resume Trends Revealed It enables users to incorporate a number of experiences into a single document. Youve collated all of the information that has to go in your resume. Whenever you make a work application, your resume must pass a string of screening stages. Writing a resume may feel like an intimidating undertaking, but it serves as a critical component to the majority of job application processes. Up in Arms About 2019 Resume Trends? They start looking for keywords, experience and abilities that closely match what the position is searching for. This adds a good deal of value to the resume since now the recruiter not just has a snapshot of the skills the individual possesses, but they could actually see the way the individual employed those skills to make value for the organization. COMBINATION RESUMES are excellent for individuals that are seeking to e arn a career change and continue from 1 industry to another. Massive number of design style will make sure you will get a resume template that fits with your taste. The template isnt hard to customize and edit along with print-ready. It includes two resume pages as well as a cover letter template and can easily be edited and customized with your choice of fonts and colors. This template comprises a resume together with a portfolio template, so you may easily show examples of your work. When you are searching for a particular business to become employed or simply would love to go employed attaching your resume to apply form. All you have to do is to produce a good CV and add it to a site. Put simply, keyword groupings are a potent marketing and advertising tool. Then writing a marketing resume should be simple for you Resume Trends Options In case the ATS doesnt find a header theres a great aussicht it will make an effort to store a section of the resume in the incorrect s pot within the database. The peak of your resume should includecritical search phrases and a fast snapshot of your core strengths, Leavy-Detrick states. The very first template on the list features an elegant black and white modern resume design that could be used for any sort of job in any business. Zipjob supplies a completely free ATS resume checker which contains the outcomes of a real ATS test. So How About 2019 Resume Trends? Any resume is a marketing document, which you have to do the just one thing to offer your candidacy in the best and dependable way. As a C-level executive, an on-line website provides you an opportunity to be noticed and supply your audience an opportunity to understand, like and trust you. Dont make the error of answering each job posting with the exact generic resume. When youre not in active job search, but still would love to modify something in your present life. What the In-Crowd Wont Tell You About 2019 Resume Trends Try out the Infograph ic Resume template if you desire a unique and contemporary look. Selecting a resume format in 2019 isnt as difficult as you expect. You may also download absolutely free templates from our Resume Library to get going on your best resume. The template can be used with Microsoft Word along with Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator. Older resumes just dont have an opportunity in the screening practice. As previously mentioned, you wish to decide on a resume format thats suited to your personal profile. The same holds for social media profiles. The same is true for resumes. Facts, Fiction and 2019 Resume Trends According to the current resume trends 2016 examples, its obvious that theres a small difference in the most recent formats. These days, however, that formatting rule isnt so hard fast. Possessing a great resume format is crucial to organizing your data in a way which will help you become noticed. Within this guide, we will provide you some simple resume format suggestion s that you can utilize to update and polish your resume. In some instances, youre supposed to rely on latest resume trends. Another alternative is to create a couple of variations of your executive resume to speak to every area of key interest.

How to Make Your Company Appealing to Recent Graduates - Spark Hire

How to Make Your Company Appealing to Recent Graduates - Spark HireRecent graduates can be a welcome breath of fresh air within your company, bringing new ideas and plenty of energy to your office. However, as the economy has begun to pick up once again, youll have to get competitive if you want to attract these newly minted professionals. Use some of these strategies in order to grab the attention of ambitious young people in your areaUse social mediaYoung vermgen employees rely heavily on social media in order to find out about new jobs. In order to catch their eye, your business needs to have a presence on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and other similar sites. Instead of sticking to more traditional methods when it comes time to find a job opening, try taking out an ad on LinkedIn. Post about it on Twitter. Write about it on the company blog. This is a much more effective way of earning a second look from people who can shape the future of your company.Dont get too hung up on exper ienceIts easy for hiring managers to zero in on a persons experience (or lack thereof) when it comes to making a hiring decision. However, understand that what a young person lacks in experience, they can make up for in other areas. Theyll come with fresh ideas and an understanding of the latest technology, for example. Dont immediately discredit them because they havent spent years in an office. In some instances this fresh perspective can actually work wonders for your business.Go to on-campus eventsIf your office is situated near college campuses, one of the best ways to attract young talent is by attending recruiting events on campus. Youll get face-to-face time with young professionals, and can highlight some of the benefits of working for your business. Many schools regularly hold recruiting events, so find out when the next one is being held and make it a point to attend.Training programs are another excellent way to get young talent in the building. If youre not sure that th ese individuals are ready for a full-time position yet, consider starting a management training program. This will teach the recent grads what they need to know in order to be successful, while keeping them interested and invested in your organization. Once the training is complete, they can become valuable members of your team.

How to Continue Your Job Search on Vacation

How to Continue Your Job Search on VacationHow to Continue Your Job Search on VacationWith that in mind, here are a few tips on how to continue your job search on vacation.Make sure you offer employers a way to get in touch with you.If youre trying not to check email while youre on vacation, set up an out-of-office reply message offering employers an alternative way to contact you for example, your cell phone number. Most email providers offer some sort of auto-response vacation umgebung. That way, if an employer tries to email you about setting up an interview, theyll know youre on vacation AND have a way to get in touch.Choose a few days during your vacation to spend an hour looking for and applying to jobs.Even though youre going on vacation, the perfect job might be posted during your time off. If at all possible, try to search for jobs at least a couple times during your vacation to make sure that you are finding the most recently posted jobs to apply to.Set up email alerts with job search websites.Email alerts are great to set up even when youre not on vacation, but especially when youll be away. Email alerts will make it easier to learn about new jobs posted that might be of interest to you. offers an email alert for members to learn about new jobs posted in their interest areas. But no matter what job search website youre using, look for an alert option.See who you might know in the area in which you are vacationing.Before you go on vacation, if youre feeling particularly ambitious, check out your LinkedIn connections to see who you might know in the area where youll be vacationing. Or, see who your contacts know so that you can potentially take a new contact out to coffee. This is a really ambitious move, but one that might pay off. After all, networking is a huge component to any job search. Since youll be in a new place and able to meet new people, its a great chance to expand your network.Even though youre headed for a break and its important to rel ax and have fun, there are also easy ways to continue your job search on vacation so that you dont miss a beat. You never know what you might miss out on if you dont.Readers, how do you try to continue your job search on vacation?

Should Companies Pay Employees to Leave

Should Companies Pay Employees to Leave Should Companies Pay Employees to Leave Some of the bold organizations that encourage their employees to leave if they are disengaged include Riot Games, Zappos, and Amazon. Awkward pause here, but I thought Zappos is known for its high levels of employee engagement? I wonder if paying employees to leave actually factors into this? If so, then how much? Heres something wild that you dont hear every day Riot Games pays employees 10 percent of their salary, up to $25,000, to get up and quit their jobs, and in case if you were wondering, theyll even do it if youve only worked for them for one day. But no worries they dont actively discourage employees to call it a day we dont want to actively push people out or dare them to leave, but we do want to provide a well-lit, safe exit path, says anonymous source.Are Companies Playing With Fire?Big organizations like Zappos pay their employees $2,000 to hit the road if they want. Amazon will offer $3,00 0 to its warehouse workers to leave and up to $5,000 for their experienced people. Again, it makes me wonder about the kind of message it sends to workers that live on the edge of engagement and disengagement. Is this economic filtering process of keeping the engaged talent around a fire hazardous approach or just plain good business for the times that we live in? Amazons Founder and CEO, Jeff Bezos, believes that, In the long run, an employee staying somewhere they dont want to be isnt healthy for the employee or the company. Thats a pretty reasonable meinung to make. Of course, people can always retort back with the questioning of what were the circumstances that caused employees to get up and cash out.Wildly enough, Jeff came under some pressure last year when 40,000 signatures signed a petition that called for better working standards in the UK, within 48 hours. Apparently, reports stated that workers were averaging 11 walking miles per shift, and they are forced to work overtim e. They even time employees bathroom breaks, and taking more than three sick days earns you a one-way trip out the door. Its easy to understand why an organization wouldnt want disengaged employees hanging around and costing it hours of productivity, especially in this case. Think about it Why would any organization want its disengaged employees hanging around the engaged ones? Its probably one of the reasons why Amazon offers its employees an annual opportunity to decide if they want to continue sticking around.Staying or Going?Its hard to imagine what it must feel like to be placed in a situation that allows its employees to hit an opt-out button. It sends a message to employees. How you decide to interpret this is up to you, but its a friendly reminder that business is supposedly not personal. Yet, Ive never agreed with this statement. When people dedicate their time and effort for an organizations clause, it does become personal. Organizations want us to be engaged and fully com mitted to their visions, right? Yet, its better to pay us to leave or send us on our way with the understanding that its just business. Still, its not just business work becomes a part of our lives. We build connections and relationships with our colleagues. Others have families to think about that keeps them from leaving jobs they hate.Whatever the case, organizations need to realize that employees are a part of their business strategy, whether engaged or disengaged, employees are people that need nurturing. If employees are unhappy its because leadership is not doing their job. According to Kristen Lewis, Equifax Workforce Solutions director of product, 44 percent of employees who leave voluntarily take a paycut or for the saatkorn salary to switch positions. Lewis says, It supports the concept that culture and opportunity play a big role.Culture is right, and its a reflection of leadership, management tactics, and an organizations personality. Paying disengaged employees to leave is one solution for hiding poor company culture, but its also a smart business tactic to keep productivity flowing. However, its not the right approach to employee engagement and helping people find their niche within an organization.

New neuroscience reveals 9 rituals that will make you an amazing parent

New neuroscience reveals 9 rituals that will make you an amazing parentNew neuroscience reveals 9 rituals that will make you an amazing parentWhen kids behave, things are easy. The problem is when you need to discipline them. Most parents know which methods theydontwant to use to correct their children, but arent as aya which methods theyshoulduse.So what is discipline? The word comes from the Latin disciplina - which means to teach. And, in the end, thats what we need more of. Every time a kid misbehaves its an opportunity to teach them valuable skills like empathy, self-control, problem-solving, and dealing with emotions.Merely punishing kids might stop schwimmbad behavior in the short-term but without a lesson, all it teaches them is that whomever has more power gets to enforce their arbitrary rules. (Hint this does bedrngnislage bode well for their future relationships.)Yes, you want them to stop painting the toilet purple but you also want them to learn to consider the feelings of others, and build other long-term skills that will help them lead successful, happy lives. And you want them to feel closer to you after a dispute, bedrngnis further away.FromNo-Drama DisciplineThe research is really clear on this point. Kids who achieve the best outcomes in life- emotionally, relationally, and even educationally- have parents who raise them with a high degree of connection and nurturing, while also communicating and maintaining clear limits and high expectations. Their parents remain consistent while still interacting with them in a way that communicates love, respect, and compassion. As a result, the kids are happier, do better in school, get into less trouble, and enjoy more meaningful relationships.So how the heck do you do all this? (No, a taser is bedrngnis involved.)You want to connect and redirect. This is the system recommended by Daniel stempel,clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, and Tina Payne Bryson, a pediatric and adole scent psychotherapist.They are the New York Times bestselling authors ofNo-Drama Discipline The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Yur Childs Developing Mind.Okay, lets get to it 1) ConnectIf your kid is in mid-yell or mid-cry,they canelend hear what you are saying. Reread that. Get it tattooed on your body. How logical are you when youre overwhelmed by emotion? And you expect a kid to be any different?So immediately doling out punishments will rarely be processed and just escalate an already bad situation. You need to connect.Connection means showing that youre on their side while still maintaining boundaries. You need to tune into their feelings and show them that you understand. This helps move them from reactivity to receptivity. It allows the emotion to dissipate so they can start using their thinky brain instead of their emotional brain. Connection has 4 partsCommunicate ComfortThey cry, you yell and things get worse, not better. Sound familiar? Because its now a f ight for power instead of a conversation. AsNYPD hostage negotiatorsknow, behavior is contagious. If you want to be in a fight, by all means, give an angry look, raise your voice and wag your index finger.If you want this to be a somewhat sane interaction, act like it is one. Communicate comfort. Make them feel safe.ValidateHow do you react when someone dismisses your feelings and tells you stop making a big deal out of this and just calm down? Exactly. So dont expect a child to be any better at it.Validate their feelings - though not all their actions. They need to feel understood in order to calm down. Until the big emotions are out of their way, logic is powerless.ListenYour child is really angry about something. You know what always works? A really long lecture. Going on a rant to someone screaming at the top of their lungs is incredibly effective in showing them the error of their ways and getting them to calm down. No child wouldeverrespond by tuning you out. And make sure to repeat the same points over and over. People love this, especially surly teenagersUm, no.They wont process a thing until they get to talk about how they feel and you show them you understand. So listen.ReflectWhen they tell you how they feel, repeat it back to them. You want to show, not tell.If you say, I know how you feel theyll reply, No, you dont If you say,It really upset you that I wouldnt let you build a nuclear reactor in the basement theyll say, Exactly.After you communicate comfort, validate feelings, listen and reflect, ask yourself one questionAre they ready to hear, learn, and understand? If not, repeat the steps.Whoops, actually theres a second question to ask yourself AmIready? Because if youre overly emotional this will not go well. They need to be calm - but so do you.(To learn more about how you and your children can lead a successful life, check out my bestselling bookhere.)Okay, so youve connected. Now its time to redirect. Thats an acronym because 8 more steps is a lot to remember, especially after junior decides to give the living room wall an unapproved mural. So lets start with R 2)Reduce wordsAgain, listening beats lecturing. If you regularly bemoan your childs short attention span then you should know better than to launch into an hour-long keynote on proper behavior. If it is a big issue, ask questions and guide a conversation, but dont lecture.FromNo-Drama DisciplineWe strongly suggest that when you redirect, you resist the urge to overtalk. Of course its important to address the issue and teach the lesson. But in doing so, keep it succinct. Regardless of the age of your children, long lectures arent likely to make them want to listen to you more. Instead, youll just be flooding them with more information and sensory input. As a result, theyll often simply tune you out.(To learn how to raise emotionally intelligent kids, clickhere.)Alright, youre being brief and getting to the point. Whats next?3)Embrace emotionsAll feelings are p ermitted all behavior is not. Do not insist that their emotions be rational or make sense. (If the world welches always rational and made sense, you wouldnt be having this fight and Id be married to Olivia Wilde.)FromNo-Drama Disciplineits what we do as a result of our emotions that determines whether our behavior is OK or not OK. So our message to our children should be, You can feel whatever you feel, but you cant always do whatever you want to do.(To learn how to make sure your kids have grit, clickhere.)Youre being brief and accepting their feelings. Cool. Now how do you actually correct a child?4)Describe, dont preachParents always wonder why their kids tune them out. The answer is simplebecause they know what youre going to say and then you say it anyway.Chances are, they know what they did was wrong. So instead of lecturing, just call attention to whatever they didThe couch is on fire.This is less likely to put them on the abwehr or lead them to tune you out.FromNo-Drama Disc iplineThe natural tendency for many parents is to criticize and preach when our kids do something we dont like. In most disciplinary situations, though, those responses simply arent necessary. Instead, we can simply describe what were seeing, and our kids will get what were saying just as clearly as they do when we yell and disparage and nitpick. And theyll receive that message with much less defensiveness and drama.(To learn the science of being a better parent, clickhere.)You gave a description instead of a TED talk. Awesome. But the only way youre really going to get them to learn anything is if theyre engaged 5)Involve your child in the disciplineThis needs to be a dialogue, not summary judgment. Ask questions. Get them to suggest how the situation should be handlumineszenzdiode and youllorganically shift into talking about right and wrong, and how other people are impacted by your childs behavior. This is how they learn empathy and problem-solving.FromNo-Drama DisciplineOnce yo uve connected and your child is ready and receptive, you can simply initiate a dialogue that leads first toward insight (I know you know the rule, so Im wondering what was going on for you that led you to this) and then toward empathy and integrative repair (What do you think that was like for her, and how could you make things right?).(To learn how to deal with out-of-control kids - from hostage negotiators - clickhere.)Now its a conversation and theyre learning something other than why youre a meanie. So how do you tell children no without a screaming match - and teach them self-control at the same time?6)Reframe a no into a conditional yesYes, you can watch more TV - after dinner. Its not a magic spell but itll often meet with less resistance than a flat No more TV.Obviously, some things are non-negotiable No, you cannot perform an appendectomy on the family dog. But often you can phrase things with this formula and help them learn about boundaries and self-control with a lot less drama.FromNo-Drama DisciplineAn out-and-out no can be much harder to accept than a yes with conditions. No, especially if said in a harsh and dismissive tone, can automatically activate a reactive state in a child (or anyone). In the brain, reactivity can involve the impulse to fight, flee, freeze, or, in extreme cases, faint. In contrast, a supportive yes statement, even when not permitting a behavior, turns on the social engagement circuitry, making the brain receptive to whats happening, making learning more likely, and promoting connections with others.(To learn 4 vital parenting tips, clickhere.)Now you know how to say no. So how else can we discipline children - without making them hate us in the process?7)Emphasize the positiveSay what you want, not what youdontwant.I need you to brush your teeth and find your backpack, beats,Stop messing around and get ready, youre going to be late for schoolAnd make sure to praise them when they do things you like. If every time you open your mouth only criticism comes out, what feelings do you think theyre instinctively going to associate with you? Yup.(To learn the 10 steps to making your kids smarter, clickhere.)So whats a good way to sidestep drama altogether - and have a laugh in the process?8)Creatively approach the situationBe playful. If theres a toy on the floor where it shouldnt be, try a dramatic pratfall instead of a himmelskrper glare. Instead of arguing about getting into the car, become a scary monster and chase them into it.With some creativity you can get your point across in a way that reduces defensiveness.FromNo-Drama DisciplineWhen we exercise response flexibility, we use our prefrontal cortex, which is central to our upstairs brain and the skills of executive functions. Engaging this part of our brain during a disciplinary moment makes it far more likely that well also be able to conjure up empathy, attuned communication, and even the ability to calm our own reactivity.(To learn the 10 st eps to raising happy kids, clickhere.)So we know a lot of ways to defuse conflict - but how do we teach them some valuable life skills and reduce the intensity of the next meltdown?9)Teach mindsight toolsSiegel and Bryson basically mean teaching your kidsmindfulness. You want to focus on making sure they learn to not just merelyexperiencetheir emotions, but alsoobservetheir emotions.Teaching your child to ask, What is my brain doing right now? allows them to step back from the chaos going on in their head and study it, versus being consumed by it. You dont want a child that is overwhelmed by feelings or denies their feelings. You want your kid tonoticetheir feelings - and do something about them.This teaches them they dont have to be stuck in a negative mood. They dont have to be a victim to external events or their whirlwind emotions. With practice they can cope with feelings and take charge of their behavior.FromNo-Drama DisciplineBrain studies reveal that we actually have two d ifferent circuits- an experiencing circuit and an observing circuit. They are different, but each is important, and integrating them means building both and then linking them. We want our kids to not only feel their feelings and sense their sensations, but also to be able to notice how their body feels, to be able to witness their own emotions.(To learn the 20 simple secrets of happy families, clickhere.)Okay, weve learned a lot. Lets round it all up and discover what to do when you screw the above up Sum upHeres how neuroscience can help you be an amazing parentConnect Communicate comfort, validate feelings, listen and reflect.Reduce Words Seriously, when have lectures ever worked?Embrace Emotions All feelings are permitted all behaviors are not.Describe, Dont Preach All daddys shoes are in the refrigerator.Involve Your Child In The Discipline Whats a way to express your anger that doesnt involve anyone getting 27 stitches?Reframe A No Into A Conditional Yes Yes, you can watch Toy Story for the 400th time - after mommy finishes this wonderful blog post shes reading.Emphasize The PositiveInstead ofNo whining, try, I like it when you talk in your normal voice. Can you say that again?Creatively Approach The Situation Ill bet I can eat my vegetables faster than you can.Teach Mindsight Tools Teach them to notice their emotions. You cant improve how you deal with something if youre not aware of it.Youre not always going to be perfect. (I really hope this did not come as a surprise.) But even your mistakes as a parent can be valuable if you handle them right.FromNo-Drama DisciplineThen they get to see you model how to apologize and make things right. They experience that when there is conflict and argument, there can be repair, and things become good again. This helps them feel safe and not so afraid in future relationships they learn to trust, and even expect, that calm and connection will follow conflict. Plus, they learn that their actions affect other peoples e motions and behavior. Finally, they see that youre not perfect, so they wont expect themselves to be, either.In myemail newsletternext week Ill be including a PDF cheat sheet of many techniques that Siegel and Bryson recommend. To make sure you dont miss it, joinhere.So it all comes down to connect and redirect. And when you screw up, dont worry.Apologize, make a joke, try again.You want your kids to know that everyone makes mistakes and that anger doesnt last forever.Children need to know that arguments happen - but that doesnt mean people stop loving you.Join over 320,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.Thisarticlefirst appeared onBarking Up The Wrong Tree.New neuroscience reveals 9 rituals that will make you an amazing parentWhen kids behave, things are easy. The problem is when you need to discipline them. Most parents know which methods theydontwant to use to correct their children, but arent as sure which methods theyshoulduse.So what is discipline? The word co mes from the Latin disciplina - which means to teach. And, in the end, thats what we need more of. Every time a kid misbehaves its an opportunity to teach them valuable skills like empathy, self-control, problem-solving, and dealing with emotions.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreMerely punishing kids might stop bad behavior in the short-term but without a lesson, all it teaches them is that whomever has more power gets to enforce their arbitrary rules. (Hint this does not bode well for their future relationships.)Yes, you want them to stop painting the toilet purple but you also want them to learn to consider the feelings of others, and build other long-term skills that will help them lead successful, happy lives. And you want them to feel closer to you after a dispute, not further away.FromNo-Drama DisciplineThe research is really clear on this point. Kids who achieve the best outcomes in life- emotionally, relationally, and even educationally- have parents who raise them with a high degree of connection and nurturing, while also communicating and maintaining clear limits and high expectations. Their parents remain consistent while still interacting with them in a way that communicates love, respect, and compassion. As a result, the kids are happier, do better in school, get into less trouble, and enjoy more meaningful relationships.So how the heck do you do all this? (No, a taser is not involved.)You want to connect and redirect. This is the system recommended by Daniel Siegel,clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, and Tina Payne Bryson, a pediatric and adolescent psychotherapist.They are the New York Times bestselling authors ofNo-Drama Discipline The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Childs Developing Mind.Okay, lets get to it 1) ConnectIf your kid is in mid-yell or mid-cry,they cannot hear what you are sayin g. Reread that. Get it tattooed on your body. How logical are you when youre overwhelmed by emotion? And you expect a kid to be any different?So immediately doling out punishments will rarely be processed and just escalate an already bad situation. You need to connect.Connection means showing that youre on their side while still maintaining boundaries. You need to tune into their feelings and show them that you understand. This helps move them from reactivity to receptivity. It allows the emotion to dissipate so they can start using their thinky brain instead of their emotional brain. Connection has 4 partsCommunicate ComfortThey cry, you yell and things get worse, not better. Sound familiar? Because its now a fight for power instead of a conversation. AsNYPD hostage negotiatorsknow, behavior is contagious. If you want to be in a fight, by all means, give an angry look, raise your voice and wag your index finger.If you want this to be a somewhat sane interaction, act like it is one . Communicate comfort. Make them feel safe.ValidateHow do you react when someone dismisses your feelings and tells you stop making a big deal out of this and just calm down? Exactly. So dont expect a child to be any better at it.Validate their feelings - though not all their actions. They need to feel understood in order to calm down. Until the big emotions are out of their way, logic is powerless.ListenYour child is really angry about something. You know what always works? A really long lecture. Going on a rant to someone screaming at the top of their lungs is incredibly effective in showing them the error of their ways and getting them to calm down. No child wouldeverrespond by tuning you out. And make sure to repeat the same points over and over. People love this, especially surly teenagersUm, no.They wont process a thing until they get to talk about how they feel and you show them you understand. So listen.ReflectWhen they tell you how they feel, repeat it back to them. You wan t to show, not tell.If you say, I know how you feel theyll reply, No, you dont If you say,It really upset you that I wouldnt let you build a nuclear reactor in the basement theyll say, Exactly.After you communicate comfort, validate feelings, listen and reflect, ask yourself one questionAre they ready to hear, learn, and understand? If not, repeat the steps.Whoops, actually theres a second question to ask yourself AmIready? Because if youre overly emotional this will not go well. They need to be calm - but so do you.(To learn more about how you and your children can lead a successful life, check out my bestselling bookhere.)Okay, so youve connected. Now its time to redirect. Thats an acronym because 8 more steps is a lot to remember, especially after junior decides to give the living room wall an unapproved mural. So lets start with R 2)Reduce wordsAgain, listening beats lecturing. If you regularly bemoan your childs short attention span then you should know better than to launch i nto an hour-long keynote on proper behavior. If it is a big issue, ask questions and guide a conversation, but dont lecture.FromNo-Drama DisciplineWe strongly suggest that when you redirect, you resist the urge to overtalk. Of course its important to address the issue and teach the lesson. But in doing so, keep it succinct. Regardless of the age of your children, long lectures arent likely to make them want to listen to you more. Instead, youll just be flooding them with more information and sensory input. As a result, theyll often simply tune you out.(To learn how to raise emotionally intelligent kids, clickhere.)Alright, youre being brief and getting to the point. Whats next?3)Embrace emotionsAll feelings are permitted all behavior is not. Do not insist that their emotions be rational or make sense. (If the world was always rational and made sense, you wouldnt be having this fight and Id be married to Olivia Wilde.)FromNo-Drama Disciplineits what we do as a result of our emotions that determines whether our behavior is OK or not OK. So our message to our children should be, You can feel whatever you feel, but you cant always do whatever you want to do.(To learn how to make sure your kids have grit, clickhere.)Youre being brief and accepting their feelings. Cool. Now how do you actually correct a child?4)Describe, dont preachParents always wonder why their kids tune them out. The answer is simplebecause they know what youre going to say and then you say it anyway.Chances are, they know what they did was wrong. So instead of lecturing, just call attention to whatever they didThe couch is on fire.This is less likely to put them on the defensive or lead them to tune you out.FromNo-Drama DisciplineThe natural tendency for many parents is to criticize and preach when our kids do something we dont like. In most disciplinary situations, though, those responses simply arent necessary. Instead, we can simply describe what were seeing, and our kids will get what were s aying just as clearly as they do when we yell and disparage and nitpick. And theyll receive that message with much less defensiveness and drama.(To learn the science of being a better parent, clickhere.)You gave a description instead of a TED talk. Awesome. But the only way youre really going to get them to learn anything is if theyre engaged 5)Involve your child in the disciplineThis needs to be a dialogue, not summary judgment. Ask questions. Get them to suggest how the situation should be handled and youllorganically shift into talking about right and wrong, and how other people are impacted by your childs behavior. This is how they learn empathy and problem-solving.FromNo-Drama DisciplineOnce youve connected and your child is ready and receptive, you can simply initiate a dialogue that leads first toward insight (I know you know the rule, so Im wondering what was going on for you that led you to this) and then toward empathy and integrative repair (What do you think that was lik e for her, and how could you make things right?).(To learn how to deal with out-of-control kids - from hostage negotiators - clickhere.)Now its a conversation and theyre learning something other than why youre a meanie. So how do you tell children no without a screaming match - and teach them self-control at the same time?6)Reframe a no into a conditional yesYes, you can watch more TV - after dinner. Its not a magic spell but itll often meet with less resistance than a flat No more TV.Obviously, some things are non-negotiable No, you cannot perform an appendectomy on the family dog. But often you can phrase things with this formula and help them learn about boundaries and self-control with a lot less drama.FromNo-Drama DisciplineAn out-and-out no can be much harder to accept than a yes with conditions. No, especially if said in a harsh and dismissive tone, can automatically activate a reactive state in a child (or anyone). In the brain, reactivity can involve the impulse to figh t, flee, freeze, or, in extreme cases, faint. In contrast, a supportive yes statement, even when not permitting a behavior, turns on the social engagement circuitry, making the brain receptive to whats happening, making learning more likely, and promoting connections with others.(To learn 4 vital parenting tips, clickhere.)Now you know how to say no. So how else can we discipline children - without making them hate us in the process?7)Emphasize the positiveSay what you want, not what youdontwant.I need you to brush your teeth and find your backpack, beats,Stop messing around and get ready, youre going to be late for schoolAnd make sure to praise them when they do things you like. If every time you open your mouth only criticism comes out, what feelings do you think theyre instinctively going to associate with you? Yup.(To learn the 10 steps to making your kids smarter, clickhere.)So whats a good way to sidestep drama altogether - and have a laugh in the process?8)Creatively approa ch the situationBe playful. If theres a toy on the floor where it shouldnt be, try a dramatic pratfall instead of a stern glare. Instead of arguing about getting into the car, become a scary monster and chase them into it.With some creativity you can get your point across in a way that reduces defensiveness.FromNo-Drama DisciplineWhen we exercise response flexibility, we use our prefrontal cortex, which is central to our upstairs brain and the skills of executive functions. Engaging this part of our brain during a disciplinary moment makes it far more likely that well also be able to conjure up empathy, attuned communication, and even the ability to calm our own reactivity.(To learn the 10 steps to raising happy kids, clickhere.)So we know a lot of ways to defuse conflict - but how do we teach them some valuable life skills and reduce the intensity of the next meltdown?9)Teach mindsight toolsSiegel and Bryson basically mean teaching your kidsmindfulness. You want to focus on making sure they learn to not just merelyexperiencetheir emotions, but alsoobservetheir emotions.Teaching your child to ask, What is my brain doing right now? allows them to step back from the chaos going on in their head and study it, versus being consumed by it. You dont want a child that is overwhelmed by feelings or denies their feelings. You want your kid tonoticetheir feelings - and do something about them.This teaches them they dont have to be stuck in a negative mood. They dont have to be a victim to external events or their whirlwind emotions. With practice they can cope with feelings and take charge of their behavior.FromNo-Drama DisciplineBrain studies reveal that we actually have two different circuits- an experiencing circuit and an observing circuit. They are different, but each is important, and integrating them means building both and then linking them. We want our kids to not only feel their feelings and sense their sensations, but also to be able to notice how their bod y feels, to be able to witness their own emotions.(To learn the 20 simple secrets of happy families, clickhere.)Okay, weve learned a lot. Lets round it all up and discover what to do when you screw the above up Sum upHeres how neuroscience can help you be an amazing parentConnect Communicate comfort, validate feelings, listen and reflect.Reduce Words Seriously, when have lectures ever worked?Embrace Emotions All feelings are permitted all behaviors are not.Describe, Dont Preach All daddys shoes are in the refrigerator.Involve Your Child In The Discipline Whats a way to express your anger that doesnt involve anyone getting 27 stitches?Reframe A No Into A Conditional Yes Yes, you can watch Toy Story for the 400th time - after mommy finishes this wonderful blog post shes reading.Emphasize The PositiveInstead ofNo whining, try, I like it when you talk in your normal voice. Can you say that again?Creatively Approach The Situation Ill bet I can eat my vegetables faster than you can.Teach Mindsight Tools Teach them to notice their emotions. You cant improve how you deal with something if youre not aware of it.Youre not always going to be perfect. (I really hope this did not come as a surprise.) But even your mistakes as a parent can be valuable if you handle them right.FromNo-Drama DisciplineThen they get to see you model how to apologize and make things right. They experience that when there is conflict and argument, there can be repair, and things become good again. This helps them feel safe and not so afraid in future relationships they learn to trust, and even expect, that calm and connection will follow conflict. Plus, they learn that their actions affect other peoples emotions and behavior. Finally, they see that youre not perfect, so they wont expect themselves to be, either.In myemail newsletternext week Ill be including a PDF cheat sheet of many techniques that Siegel and Bryson recommend. To make sure you dont miss it, joinhere.So it all comes down to conn ect and redirect. And when you screw up, dont worry.Apologize, make a joke, try again.You want your kids to know that everyone makes mistakes and that anger doesnt last forever.Children need to know that arguments happen - but that doesnt mean people stop loving you.Join over 320,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.Thisarticlefirst appeared onBarking Up The Wrong Tree.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people